.: so comes snow after fire :.

Sometimes I think my subconscious hates me. That's the only possible explanation for the horrible nightmares I often have. Last night I had one of the cruelest ones. I dreamed my sister was still alive, and we were living together, and it made perfect sense that she still looked 15 while I was 27, and I was so happy, and then she got sick. She had all those symptoms I remember so excruciatingly well, and when the ambulance came, my alarm went off.

I'm no expert, but is there a reason why my inner mind likes so much to torture me?

Anyway, when I'm feeling angry or shaken, there's only one thing that calms me down. Ironing while listening to the stereo with the volume seriously cranked up. Luckly I had a pile of laundry to iron, so two hours and a half later I'm feeling much better.

And now, warm shower and lunch.

Sometimes I think my subconscious hates me. That's the only possible explanation for the horrible nightmares I often have. Last night I had one of the cruelest ones. I dreamed my sister was still alive, and we were living together, and it made perfect sense that she still looked 15 while I was 27, and I was so happy, and then she got sick. She had all those symptoms I remember so excruciatingly well, and when the ambulance came, my alarm went off.

I'm no expert, but is there a reason why my inner mind likes so much to torture me?

Anyway, when I'm feeling angry or shaken, there's only one thing that calms me down. Ironing while listening to the stereo with the volume seriously cranked up. Luckly I had a pile of laundry to iron, so two hours and a half later I'm feeling much better.

And now, warm shower and lunch.

Oh man, it is! I'm currently downloading the first episode of the third series, jumping around like crazy! I can't wait! Please no spoilers or I'll send Sylar after you! :D

Besides, it comes at the perfect time: tonight I had a horrible, weird nightmare, and I'm still feeling all shaken. I dreamt I was living during the Fascism, and I knew they were coming to get me, torture me and hung me to the nearest tree (you know, the usual), and we had to run away with a train, but the train stopped, and thanks god that's when my alarm clock went off. Oh man. Must have been something I ate, maybe?

Now I'm feeling like staring at UTorrent whispering "hurry up hurry up" all day long, so I'd better find myself something to do now.

Great, last night I had a terribly vivid dream about my mom waking up from her coma. It was so real! And then my sister was around too, and for the first time in 6 years she looked like her age, I mean she looked 22, while I've always dreamed of her as a 16-year-old girl. When I woke up I was so shocked, I didn't know where I was, and what I was doing there, and why couldn't I hear mom and Alice moving in the house?

Man, what a crappy way of starting the day. My hands are still shaking, and I'm in a horrible bad mood. =_=

Great, last night I had a terribly vivid dream about my mom waking up from her coma. It was so real! And then my sister was around too, and for the first time in 6 years she looked like her age, I mean she looked 22, while I've always dreamed of her as a 16-year-old girl. When I woke up I was so shocked, I didn't know where I was, and what I was doing there, and why couldn't I hear mom and Alice moving in the house?

Man, what a crappy way of starting the day. My hands are still shaking, and I'm in a horrible bad mood. =_=

Hurrah for a night's worth of good nightmares-free sleep! I dreamt I was watching a movie with mom and Alice (either Terminator or Blade Runner), and they were just sitting there watching it, without losing blood, rotting, or other scary things they usually do in my dreams. Yay! When I woke up I wasn't tired and sweating as every morning, I feel really refreshed! ^^