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nausicaa83Today I had a great, but very exhausting therapy session. My therapist has been trying to make me include my fandoms in our talks, so today, after beating around the bush for twenty minutes, this is what happened:
Me: "I've been really into Captain America 2 lately, and everyone in the fandom is writing about so many interesting topics, and since two of the main characters are war vets with PTSD, the other day I stumbled on a list of PTSD symptoms in soldiers, and I kinda think I had almost all of them in high school. But I wonder if it's just one those things when you read about a illness online and your brain tries to convince you you have it or..."
Therapist: "You definitely, definitely had it."
Me: "Oh."
Therapist: "How does knowing that make you feel?"
Me: "Sort of... relieved? That I wasn't insane?"
And then we talked a lot more about it, and we're going to talk about it again on friday. She did the Face, the don't-you-try-and-change-the-subject-next-this-is-important Face. And I'm not going to, because it made me feel weirdly better, like sort of validated. I wish I could go back in time and give kid!Nausicaa a pat on the back. So many things make a lot of sense now. Plus I feel like my therapist had been trying to break the news to me for some time, but she was just waiting for the right moment. What do you know, superheroes help in real life too!
And then I went to my favourite chocolaterie and bought three packets of biscuits, and the woman there gave me a huge piece of salted caramel chocolate for free. I probably looked a bit dumbfounded. There are a lot of episodes from my teenage years that now make a lot more sense.
By late afternoon I was free, and I practiced some more on my ukulele. I've started working on more difficult chords than the usual C, G and Am, so I've been practicing Up The Wolves and Sax Rohmer #1 by The Mountain Goats, which are the right amount of "how the fuck am I going to reach that spot with my pinky?!" without making me want to throw the instrument out of the window (read: every Simon & Garfunkel song ever). Then I did a bit of Stairway To Heaven, which is surprisingly (at least for me) really, really easy. I can even do the interlude!
So, chocolate, Led Zeppelin and huge personal epiphanies. Today had it all! ^^
Me: "I've been really into Captain America 2 lately, and everyone in the fandom is writing about so many interesting topics, and since two of the main characters are war vets with PTSD, the other day I stumbled on a list of PTSD symptoms in soldiers, and I kinda think I had almost all of them in high school. But I wonder if it's just one those things when you read about a illness online and your brain tries to convince you you have it or..."
Therapist: "You definitely, definitely had it."
Me: "Oh."
Therapist: "How does knowing that make you feel?"
Me: "Sort of... relieved? That I wasn't insane?"
And then we talked a lot more about it, and we're going to talk about it again on friday. She did the Face, the don't-you-try-and-change-the-subject-next-this-is-important Face. And I'm not going to, because it made me feel weirdly better, like sort of validated. I wish I could go back in time and give kid!Nausicaa a pat on the back. So many things make a lot of sense now. Plus I feel like my therapist had been trying to break the news to me for some time, but she was just waiting for the right moment. What do you know, superheroes help in real life too!
And then I went to my favourite chocolaterie and bought three packets of biscuits, and the woman there gave me a huge piece of salted caramel chocolate for free. I probably looked a bit dumbfounded. There are a lot of episodes from my teenage years that now make a lot more sense.
By late afternoon I was free, and I practiced some more on my ukulele. I've started working on more difficult chords than the usual C, G and Am, so I've been practicing Up The Wolves and Sax Rohmer #1 by The Mountain Goats, which are the right amount of "how the fuck am I going to reach that spot with my pinky?!" without making me want to throw the instrument out of the window (read: every Simon & Garfunkel song ever). Then I did a bit of Stairway To Heaven, which is surprisingly (at least for me) really, really easy. I can even do the interlude!
So, chocolate, Led Zeppelin and huge personal epiphanies. Today had it all! ^^
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no subject
Date: 2014-05-07 07:19 pm (UTC)YEAH for the free chocolate <3 <3 <3
And I would love to hear you play the ukulele :D
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Date: 2014-05-08 07:50 am (UTC)I'll probably do a video of me playing the ukulele, like I did with the drums, when I learn how to play a song properly from start to finish, intro and interlude included. *_____*
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Date: 2014-05-07 07:32 pm (UTC)Se vuoi comunque venire giù lo stesso, venerdì sera o sabato sera, e restare una notte, sai che sei sempre la benvenuta :* Io finisco sia venerdì che sabato alle 19.00.
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Date: 2014-05-08 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-08 07:46 am (UTC)*crushing hug*
I had so many biscuits yesterday afternoon I had to skip dinner! :D
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Date: 2014-05-09 03:08 am (UTC)Biscuits sound so yummy! I'm baking a dark chocolate cake right now for a birthday on Saturday and the whole place smells delicious!
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Date: 2014-05-09 07:46 am (UTC)Chocolate is the best! My favourite cake in all the world is SacherTorte, I'm so predictable. :D
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Date: 2014-05-08 08:13 am (UTC)<3
Ora però mi è venuta voglia di biscottini al cioccolato :D
*mannaggiardemonio!*
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Date: 2014-05-08 04:01 pm (UTC)I biscottini al cioccolato a casa mia non mancano mai! \o/
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Date: 2014-05-08 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-08 06:51 pm (UTC)