"We will fight to the death to the edge of the earth."

[nausicaa83]

Note to self: avoid replaying favourite games on the weekend, because you lose track of time and forget about everything else. Like eating or sleeping. I've been replaying Dragon Age II lately, and it's way more addictive than I remember. Or, to be more precise, it's exactly as addictive as the first time, I'd just repressed that memory. As in, my aunt had to call me to remind me to eat, at lunch and dinner. Disorienting. She also asked me to help her find a good streaming site to watch The Book Thief, and this morning we had a fantastic talk about it and we fangirled like little kids. Now she wants to read the book and I want to watch the movie. *________*

The upcoming week is going to be a tough one, with some real life stuff that I've been avoiding for too long demanding my full attention, and I won't be able to reach my therapist because she took a week off for a family emergency. I made a Mozart playlist on my iPod, and I have jelly babies cartons strategically placed all over the house, I can do it!

Comments

[stardust-made.livejournal.com]

I'll be thinking of you next week.♥ The one considerable advantage of dealing with difficult RL stuff we've avoided is that afterwards they're done.

I always think of therapy - and by extension of my therapist - as something that is very much happening to me the whole time, our sessions being only markers to give direction to the process, then it keeps going all the while I'm teaching, writing, sleeping...It gives me a great sense of support knowing it's something within me rather than something external; the entire process, I mean. I feel it as something I carry with me everywhere I go. You know why I'm sharing this.:)

[nausicaa83.livejournal.com]

When I have difficult real stuff to deal with I always set myself a little prize after. I do a little internal monologue, like "I know it'll be hard and you're scared, but when it's over you get to come home and watch that movie you love and eat all the chocolate biscuits you were saving for a special occasion". My subconscious likes to be coddled. ^^"

I think what scares me is that I won't be able to reach her by phone. I've called her maybe twice in two years, but it feels so safe to have that.

I always cherish your insight on therapy! I recently started doing little fandom analogies in therapy (I remembered you talking about it) and it was brilliant! *______*

[stardust-made.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad to be of any use.:)

And I know what you mean about knowng you could reach your therapist. My therapist told me at the start of our work that if it was necessary I could call then and then. (These were the hours with no sessions with other patients or work at the hospital so immediate reaction.) That was four and a half years ago and just knowing I could call has been enough. I do have a very different relationship with my therapist from the one you have with yours, at least by the sound of it. But still, I understand that feeling of having the safety net quite well. Then again, it appears you have other strategies that work: music, rewards, etc! So do I.:) Who invented them, put them in place and found out they worked? Us. Who is involved in them? Us. It shows quite well that really, when push comes to shove, the person we can truly rely on is ourselves.

(Your new head picture is stunning.)

[nausicaa83.livejournal.com]

When we first started doing therapy she told me that there were many different kinds of therapy, and that from what she could see about me it was best for us to have a more informal approach, that from time to time she would tell me specific things about her to build my trust. I had a very traumatic experience with a therapist back in 2001, and she had to build my trust in the method from scratch, and seeing her as a person helped a lot. One of the first things she told me was that she lost her mother to cancer when she was a teen, and that helped a lot in seeing her as someone who knew what she was talking about. It's weird because rationally I know that doesn't have anything to do with her skills as a therapist, but on an emotional level it makes me feel in safe hands.

The good news is that the therapist who ruined me years ago was fired by my oncologist a couple of years later. So there's that. ^^

(I'm quite proud of that header, I think it's the best job I've done with the colours in all these years of photoshopping! ^^ )

[stardust-made.livejournal.com]

(It's just stunning - the colours were exactly what makes it so special.)

It's really great that you two immediately started on equal footing - she didn't just make a professional choice she was qualified to make, but she included you in it by explaining her reasoning behind it. That's the very foundation of trust between the two parties. I am a great believer in therapy in general - which is why I'm upset and angry on your behalf about your earlier experience; it's the opposite of what therapy should be about! - and in the importance of people having the kind of therapy and the kind of relationship with their therapist that works for them specifically. That actually puts a lot of responsibility on the therapist in that the patient wouldn't have intimate understanding of the ins and outs of the approaches. However, as therapy progresses at some point it's very difficult for one to mistake whether it's working or not. So the power is back with the patient. The most important thing is that it stays there and we are allowed to explore boundaries, discuss the dynamics, request changes, etc.

Good luck with your week!:)

[silviarambles]

Sending good vibes for next week! :*

[nausicaa83.livejournal.com]

Grazie, ne avrò bisogno!!! ♥

[space-oddity-75.livejournal.com]

Argh, leggo solo ora, ma ti mando un sacco di good vibes per questa settimana!!! Un abbraccione grande grande.

[nausicaa83.livejournal.com]

Grassiieeeee!!!

(omioddio l'iconcina è bellissima!!!)