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Nov. 7th, 2005 09:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nausicaa83Still waiting. We talked with the doctors, and we're already in the agony state. I told them to call a priest, as mom cares about these things. Me, I still feel like I were sleeping, and walking in a dream. I suppose my mind is playing some tricks, as I keep touching my head while I'm alone, because I can feel it wide open. Today we talked to a lawyer, a wonderful, kind person. We'll get lots of money for this, so I will be able to buy all my house, and continue studying. The guy who killed her, he's 77 years old. I only want to kill him, I'm just so full of hate and revenge I sometimes think I could throw up.
We're already thinking of the next few months. My grandfathers will come here to stay with me. Last time they did it, with my sister, it was a plain disaster, so I'm worried. Tati wants to come and live with me for a while, and I'd prefer that, of course. With my dad and sis, it happened in the summer, it was sunny and hot, but now it's dark, and rainy, and soon it'll be Christmas, and how am I supposed to go through all this? I already wish at night, before falling asleep, to die and never wake up again.
Of course, I don't want to kill myself, and I'll never do it. You don't have to worry about that.
We're already thinking of the next few months. My grandfathers will come here to stay with me. Last time they did it, with my sister, it was a plain disaster, so I'm worried. Tati wants to come and live with me for a while, and I'd prefer that, of course. With my dad and sis, it happened in the summer, it was sunny and hot, but now it's dark, and rainy, and soon it'll be Christmas, and how am I supposed to go through all this? I already wish at night, before falling asleep, to die and never wake up again.
Of course, I don't want to kill myself, and I'll never do it. You don't have to worry about that.