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nausicaa83Health update, I'm feeling a lot better! First of all, thanks for all the lovely messages on my last post, you made my day and week, I wish I could hug you all! The good news is, I'm back home until tuesday. I was feeling better, and I had lots of stuff to do (mainly taxes). Plus I really missed my best friend. And my cat. Yesterday I woke up with a cold, because the weather is crazy and my immune system isn't up to par yet, but other than that I'm really enjoying not having to worry about that stupid cvc ever again. And my nails have started to grow again, although very slowly. I'm finally getting the chemo out of my system!
From a mental point of view, things are a little murkier. It's great to be back home, but it also feels very weird. Everything is exactly the same as I left it, but I feel like a completely different person. It's jarring. It'll take me some time to get used to it again. Next wednesday I have another PET, to check if the cure is still working. I do feel fine, but I'm still really scared. It can't be helped, I guess. On the 17th it's immunotherapy time again, then I'm free for three weeks. So unless they schedule another visit/exam for the end of the month, I'll probably come back here for another couple of weeks. This is going to be my life for a while.
Not everything feels weird though. Sakura cuddles me constantly, and on my second day here I made sea salt ice cream and it came out perfect. I'm very proud of myself! And Tati came to stay here with me, which always makes me incredibly happy. I've been watching cartoons, playing videogames, and eating ice cream. It's been a great holiday. ^^
From a mental point of view, things are a little murkier. It's great to be back home, but it also feels very weird. Everything is exactly the same as I left it, but I feel like a completely different person. It's jarring. It'll take me some time to get used to it again. Next wednesday I have another PET, to check if the cure is still working. I do feel fine, but I'm still really scared. It can't be helped, I guess. On the 17th it's immunotherapy time again, then I'm free for three weeks. So unless they schedule another visit/exam for the end of the month, I'll probably come back here for another couple of weeks. This is going to be my life for a while.
Not everything feels weird though. Sakura cuddles me constantly, and on my second day here I made sea salt ice cream and it came out perfect. I'm very proud of myself! And Tati came to stay here with me, which always makes me incredibly happy. I've been watching cartoons, playing videogames, and eating ice cream. It's been a great holiday. ^^
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Date: 2016-06-02 04:02 pm (UTC)E fanculo a questo meteo che mette a dura prova il sistema immunitario di chiunque...
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Date: 2016-06-06 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 04:44 pm (UTC)The world must seem a bit off kilter, being at home yet not quite having that feeling of comfort and rightness only home could bring. I'm sure a new balance will be achieved soon, for now the most important thing is growing nails and all they represent!:)
(To be honest, if you weren't scared, something in that amazing clock that is you wouldn't be ticking right. It's a bit of a paradox, isn't it - how in some cases fear (that makes us feel vulnerable) is such a healthy response. Keeping my fingers crossed it has all the reasons to dissipate quietly.)
♥
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Date: 2016-06-06 03:53 pm (UTC)I've been mostly re-watching cartoons/anime I've loved for years, it feels very comforting. I've just finished binge watching Ouran High School Host Club (https://kissanime.to/Anime/Ouran-Koukou-Host-Club-Dub), that I think you'd love. It's a wonderful and hilarious show that anyone involved in fandom should watch, but especially fanfic writers. ;)
Then there's the new Steven Universe (http://kisscartoon.me/Cartoon/Steven-Universe) episodes, a wonderful show that also has canon lesbian characters. The whole plot/characters/animation are astounding, but yes, I always start my sales pitch with the canon lesbians. ^^
Today I feel better regarding my fears. It's probably connected with the weather: we're having the first sunny day in two weeks, it's easier to feel positive.
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Date: 2016-06-03 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-06 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-06 04:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-06 10:19 am (UTC)I've been a bit absent in the past few weeks (shame on me!), but have been thinking of you a lot, and just yesterday I was telling my daughter how much I wanted to call you. Reading that you're home and enjoying your environment, cat and best friend is a great relief to me.
Please tell me when I can call you without disturbing you. I really want to hear your voice and have a chat, if you feel like talking a bit. Big hugs and fingers crossed for Wednesday! I'm sure everything is going fine, but I'm sending you good vibes anyway.
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Date: 2016-06-06 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-12 10:17 am (UTC)