nausicaa83: (<007> death)
What a week! Me, I've been doing fine, even if with the cold and then humid weather the sore neck came back with a vengeance. I've been doing exercise and putting cream on it and wearing a scarf indoors and it's finally getting better. But the worst was obviously yet to come, because as soon as I left my family's home in Ceva, Piedmont, it started raining over there. And raining. And by thursday the river that runs through Ceva flooded the town. My aunt was stranded on the other side of the city, and had to spend the night in a hotel on top of the hill, with no electricity and a cellphone with a failing battery that she used to call us for a few seconds at a time. My uncle and younger cousin were home, by the river, in our nice flat on the ground floor, because obviously it is. They spent the day putting anything valuable on top of the shelves, parking the cars on top of a little hill behind the house, taking pictures of the muddy water rising, and trying to calm me down when I called them every other hour in an increasing panic. When the river finally came, it stopped a few inches from our house, but flooded all our neighbours. My family are all safe and sound, and there was no damage to our home, and they've spent the last few days helping their neighbours and cleaning up mud downtown. They're all shaken but fine. And we're all thanking our lucky stars that Francesca is in Ireland with her boyfriend, and most of all that I'm here, because that would have been the cherry on top, me with my delicate health and all in the midst of a freaking flood.

This entry was supposed to be about all the lovely things I've done during my first week back home, but then that happened, so I'm going to need a couple more days to relax. Stay tuned.
nausicaa83: (<x-men> stop the flow of time)
Health news first! I've had a cold for the past week, nothing much but for this cough I got. Which scared me because my left lung has been damaged by the pleurisy last year (good times), so I spent the whole week crazy anxious about it. This morning I had the usual blood test, medical examination and immunotherapy. The oncologist checked me all over and said it's just a cold, nothing new with my lungs, plus everything else looks even better than last time! That's a huge weight off my mind. I'm now torn in two: on one hand the sudden relief has me so relaxed I feel like falling asleep any second now, but on the other hand they gave me half a liter of cortisone today, and that's like three shots of espresso directly in my veins. Is this what doing drugs feels like? So weird.

In other news I'm still in shock from the election news, and I've been turning to Samantha Bee, John Oliver and Stephen Colbert for guidance and hope. Considering they all look various degrees of infuriated and shell-shocked, it's been less about comfort and more about feeling I'm not alone in still being unable to wrap my mind around it.

In other good news, I just bought a train ticket for thursday, so I can spend two weeks home, and I've already booked two therapy sessions with my therapist back in Venice. I'll stay there until 5 December, woot woot! \o/


Nov. 10th, 2016 12:12 pm
nausicaa83: (<avengers> peggy carter)
So, well, that happened. I still need time to process it, as yesterday I was out for most of the day, had my monthly shot at the hospital, and couldn't really focus on what was happening. I genuinely didn't expect that to happen. I obviously live in a very leftist bubble online, and it made me think that my friends, and the artists and writers and comedians I love and respect, shared their views with the majority of the American people, and it wasn't true. I don't know what's going to happen from now on. Contrary to what happened with Berlusconi, who only fucked up my little country, this has the potential of destroying a lot of lives all over the globe. I read the Guardian, BBC News, and everyone looked shellshocked. We woke up and it's a sad new world.

That being said, I want to stay positive and optimistic, because that's who I am, that's how I survive. We live in a different world than in 1928, a globalized world, a world with internet, where people are closer than it was ever thought possible. And that is our greatest strength, being able to talk to people from all over the world, vastly different human beings from different cultures, from whom we can learn so much. We're not little islands anymore, we're part of the continent. And that forces us to acknowledge different points of view, different lifestyles. That has to count for something. That has to make a difference.

To my American friends, stay strong. It's only a passing thing, this shadow.
nausicaa83: (<cowboy bebop> lazy)
A quick PSA, in case some of you haven't read, LiveJournal just implemented a 'like' feature. It's a heart that shows up on entries and allows you to like them, as one does on Facebook or Tumblr. This feature shows up only on entries, not on comments, and, crucially, only for those users who switched to the new version. I'm still using the old version of lj, so if you ever like one of my entries, I have no way of knowing it, especially since the email notifications can't tell you who did it. So there's that.

There was a huge shitstorm over on the [ profile] news community after the announcement, which is funny, because I remember how most people used to request a 'like' feature for years everytime LJ made an announcement. Personally, I have no interest in using it, as I'm still haunting this website because I like talking, and I like reading what my friends have to say, and one of the reasons I dislike Tumblr is because interactions are basically only likes and reblogs, and there's no way to communicate efficiently. But on the other hand, if others like this feature and want to use it, it's no skin off my nose. ^^

In other news, the other day I finally watched The Big Lebowski. I remember a friend back at uni recommending it to me, and I have no idea why it took me so long to watch it. but hey, better late than never, it was great and I loved it!
nausicaa83: (<flash> selfie)
To those who celebrate it, I hope you had a great Halloween! I spent my evening re-watching Over The Garden Wall, even if I almost fell asleep more than once because I'm still feeling cranky from daylight savings time ending last sunday. It's only one hour, but it messes up my body's circadian rhythm like there's no tomorrow. It usually takes me one week to go back to normal.

During the weekend I watched Black Mirror on Netflix, because everyone on twitter was talking about it. Netflix messed up the order of the episodes, and I only noticed at the end, so I watched the third season first, then the christmas special, second season, and the first one at the end. It's an anthology, so it didn't affect anything, but I was wondering why the budget seemed to decrease in time. :D Anyway, I thought it was brilliant! It reminds me a lot of Philip K Dick, so if that's your kind of sci-fi, you'll love it. The acting is always great, and I loved how they didn't demonize modern technology: each episode is a study on humanity, and the technological aspect serves only to enable certain human behaviours. Fascinating. My favourite episode is San Junipero, because I'm predictable like that. ;)

I've also started watching Yuri on Ice, this new adorable anime about figure skating. The characters are lovely, the animation is great, and the figure skating part is done by people who know what they're talking about. It's awesome!

About real life, nothing much is happening: my aunt is spending the week in Sicily with her mom, so I miss her a lot. This evening my uncle is taking us to the cinema to watch Jason Bourne - I wouldn't normally watch it, as I find the Bourne movies super boring, but I love the idea of going to the cinema with my family, so I don't even care about the movie. It's also the week with no immunotherapy, so yay for no trips to the hospital or needles in my arms! \o/
nausicaa83: (<steven universe> peace and love)
What a lovely day! Wednesday is my favourite day of the week: my aunt is home from work, it's farmer's market day, and we go shopping and to offices together, it's great. Plus now it's also the day they release the new Flash episode, so there's that too. ♥

Today my aunt, my cousin Francesca and I went to the hospital to book my family physician for another year: since I technically do not live here in Piedmont, but in Venice, I have to renew my subscription to a general practitioner every year as long as I'm staying here to do immunotherapy. Then we went to the market, to the bank, to buy a couple of cute shirts for my cousin, and then to another office for me. I walked a lot, showed my new cute curly hair to everyone, I had a wonderful time. After lunch I had a shower, watched the new Flash episode (I looooooved it!), bounced around my aunt who was trying to clean the floors. My mom used to say I was a lot like a cat, but there are days I'm more like a labrador puppy. :D
nausicaa83: (<flash> group hug)
Only the weekend left then I'm going back to Piedmont. I've got the usual meds on tuesday, then a two-week break, then the monthly shot, and then I'll be back here. I'm really getting the hang of this! I've learned how to stock the cupboards here with nonperishable food, when to book the sessions with my therapist, and how to plan activities based on where I am on any given week. And I've bought travel-sized Lush soaps and shampoos, so I can leave one in each house and always smell great. ^^


Speaking of, my Adagio Teas order finally arrived. I decided to replenish the tea reserves here a month ago, but as always the package got stuck at customs in Milan, and they sent me a bunch of forms to fill out and send them back, asking me crazy questions about my package, like "does it contain seal skins? does it contain products forbidden by the EU like animal bones or explosives?" or basically "are you a terrorist/serial killer?". What the heck. What do people order from the States?!


Other than that I've been enjoying this little holiday a lot. I went to therapy on the hottest autumn day ever, so I took a little stroll downtown before and after, soaking in the sunlight and taking pictures of my beautiful sun-kissed city without the hassle of the hordes of tourists. I love the fall. I resumed playing the drums and the ukulele, but always remembering to stretch because my muscles are still weak and soft.


And I finally managed to take a good picture of Sakura! You know, one where her butt doesn't occupy 90% of the screen. :D The funny thing is, I took this picture when I was really angry with her. I had been searching for her for twenty minutes, and she wasn't answering when I called her, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I started thinking she might have run out of the door, or crazy stuff like that, and then I found her. She had opened my suitcase, that I keep under my bed, and she'd been sleeping inside it the whole time. So I took this picture five minutes later while I was complaining with my aunt on the phone of how Sakura had given me such a scare and wouldn't respond when I called, and sent it with the caption "and she's just sitting here looking all innocent too!".

It is a pretty picture though. :D
nausicaa83: (<tangled> lanterns)
The reason for my absence from these shores for the past few days is that winter in Piedmont arrived all in one day, and the temperatures dropped 17 degrees overnight, so obviously on the morning I had to take the train back home I woke up with an awful cold and a terrible case of wryneck. Couldn't breathe, couldn't turn my head, it sucked. I spent the last three days eating soup while wrapped in three blankets in my favourite armchair, full of paracetamol and using my cat as a hot water bottle.

Today I feel a lot better. My neck doesn't hurt anymore, which I celebrated with an impromptu dance party in the kitchen this morning. Sakura joined in enthusiastically, and now I have a feeling she's going to sleep from exhaustion for the next three days. She's not a kitten anymore. :D The cold is almost gone too, and I can even smell things again. More or less. On friday I called everyone and moved all my appointments to next week so that I could take the weekend off to get back on my feet. It's been raining and pouring and there's even been acqua alta downtown, so I chose the right weekend to spend in bed, no kidding.
nausicaa83: (<disney> menestrello)
Real life news first, tomorrow I got my monthly shot (still immunotherapy, but this one is a shot not a drip), then on wednesday I'll go back home to Venice for a couple of weeks. I need to call the plumber to do a minor fix on the boiler, and since the weather has already turned to the cold and damp, the sooner the better. I also have to check with the bank and the lawyer, and I have a therapy session already planned for the 18th. I have appointments, and they're not hospital-related. You have no idea how new it is, and how happy it makes me. Especially since this is one year to the week since I was first admitted to the hospital, spent a month there, and got my diagnosis. I'm already organizing a little get together with two wonderful women I shared a room with back then, to celebrate how one year later we're all healthy and free of pain. ^^

My oldest cousin has moved back with us, as she's finished with her exams and needs only to work on her graduation dissertation. We go along splendidly, and since everyone else in the family has a job, that means I do not have to spend most of the day here alone anymore. That's probably why I'm always so cheerful lately!

In fandom news, the new Rick Riordan book, Magnus Chase and the Hammer of Thor, finally arrived, along with The Answer by Rebecca Sugar. The latter I've already read, and it's even more adorable than I thought possible. I can't wait to read the former, but I'll save it for the train ride back home. Today I also bought the new Green Day album on iTunes, Revolution Radio: you know we fucked up when Green Day have to release a new political album. It's awesome, and I loved it way more than the previous triplets (Uno, Dos and Tres). I hope they'll release a couple of singles on Rock Band soon, I would love to play them!

To be fair most of my free time this past week has been spent marathoning The Flash. A little backstory here: I'm more of a Marvel girl, I watched the first season of Arrow and didn't like it, and I had watched the first couple of episodes of The Flash months ago and then forgot about it. But then last tuesday they did an Honest Trailer about this show, and they were so enthusiastic about it I got curious and started watching it again.

And holy shit, it's SO GOOD. It has an amazing plot, full of plot twists but always consistent, great character development, a very diverse cast, a lot of positive representation for adoptive families, and a main character who's good and kind, who always sees the best in people. Plus, time travel and alternate steampunk dimensions. It's like they made a list of all the things I like, and just mashed them together in one clever, funny, heart-warming show. What the hell, CW, I thought I had you figured out. I was so wrong.

So if you haven't, watch it, you'll love it. If you have, I need to talk about it with someone! Although it'll probably be mostly flailing my arms like a muppet and squealing, so you've been warned. ;)
nausicaa83: (<007> death)
what a very long day. I'm exhausted. What happened is, I went to the hospital for my monthly therapy, they did the usual blood test, put the wrong label on it, took two hours to notice, and then had to do it all over again. Then the medicine was late. I entered the hospital at 9 am, got out past 5 pm, for a drip that takes 30 minutes. I'm soooo tired. While waiting I called the plumber, and then a call-center to update the address for a magazine I subscribe to, booked the echocardiogram for November, discovered a beautiful patio hidden in the garden of the hospital and had lunch there. When we finally, finally came home my aunt cut me a banana into tiny slices like my mom used to do and poured limoncello all over it (which my mom didn't do :D ), and I ate it with a slice of chocolate cake (it was delicious, and I can't feel my tongue). Then I hid under the covers, read the new chapter of my current favourite fic (it updates every tuesday and when it's over it'll probably become my favourite fic ever) and watched the new Steven Universe shorts on my phone.

Tomorrow I'm going to the farmers' market with my aunt and then I'll take a long shower and use all my Lush products because I definitely need some relaxing me time. ^^
nausicaa83: (<literature> history)
day one • a song
day two • a picture
day three • a book/ebook/fanfic
day four • a website
day five • a youtube clip

Remember last year, and two years ago, when I did those Reading Challenges? I had to interrupt the 2015 one for obvious reasons, but I've been doing a 2016 one, although I've never mentioned it here before. Sorry about that. ^^" So here's a summary of what I've been reading so far, in chronological order (all hail the mighty Kindle, that weighs nothing, I can carry everywhere, and stores thousands of books at the same time!):

The Kane Chronicles novels, by Rick Riordan. From the author of Percy Jackson and Magnus Chase, a similar story but with Egyptian Gods and a non-white cast. I loved these books, but regrettably not as much as the other two series, which is a shame because I really wanted to love them more.

The Raven Cycle tetralogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I read them because everyone on tumblr was talking about them and I got curious. They are objectively good, and they have a bisexual kid and a gay kid in a relationship among the main cast, and it's a major plot point, so major kudos for that. My one problem is that the writing left me very cold, and I felt I couldn't relate to the characters at all. It was beautiful writing, but very impersonal. I'm not going to re-read them, but I definitely enjoyed them.

Then I got that terrible infection, got hospitalized for ten days, and I re-read all the Percy Jackson books on my phone. I'm a fast reader and one gets bored quickly in a hospital. Plus I had no roommate because of the infection. Fun times.

When I finally got better and went back home I started reading A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle, because they had just announced the movie and I wanted to see what it was about. It took me something like a hundred pages to realize I had already read it as a kid. And it was one of my favourite books too! I... I have no excuses. I read the second book and got halfway through the third one before giving up. I still think the first one is really beautiful, but then it gets too religious for my tastes, and way too boring, with some weird pacing issues.

Then I read Gone Girl without knowing anything about it, and I finished it in a day because it was so intriguing and I just couldn't wait to see what was coming next. I did not see the ending coming, at all. And I have to say I agree with some of the accusations of misogyny this book has recieved. While I agree with the author that we need more female villains in literature, because female characters are usually trapped in nurturing roles as that's what's expected of a woman in our society, what she did in this book was to create a female villain whose evil nature is inherently linked to her sexuality. She makes false rape accusations, gets pregnant to trap her husband, everything she does as a villain is because of her being a woman. She's not a villain who also happens to be a woman, the unicorn we readers would like to see more, she's the Psycho Bitch meninists keep rambling about. So yeah, it's a fascinating thriller and the writing is really good, but it's very misogynistic, no way around it.

It's been kind of a disappointing year for me when it comes to new novels. Right now I'm reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and so far I'm enjoying it, so maybe the tide is turning. ^^
nausicaa83: (<hot fuzz> true love)
Just like I hoped, my birthday has been a turning point for me. I tend to fixate on dates and anniversaries, even too much, but sometimes that obsession does help. I feel like my birthday ended the awful year of illness and pain, and now I've started a new year of healing. I know it sounds a bit weird and new-ageish, but you know what I mean. I've spent a great week at home, I've made some wonderful new friends (thanks to [ profile] capracotta, who is amazing), I've been to the bank and the restaurant and I've done laundry and everything feels normal and new at the same time. I feel like I'm taking control of my life once again, a life that includes monthly trips to the hospital, but also hanging out with my friends, going to the cinema, making marmalade with my aunt. I can do it. ^^

And in this spirit, here's an old meme because I need to start posting regularly here again, instead of only when I got news about chemo. New leaf.

day one • a song
day two • a picture
day three • a book/ebook/fanfic
day four • a website
day five • a youtube clip

And now, some fandom news! I finally watched that new Shane Black movie, The Nice Guys, and I loved it. It was funny as hell, the mystery was intriguing and had me on the edge of my seat trying to figure it out first, and Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe have excellent chemistry. Plus the little girl was amazing, I can't wait to see more of her. I wish Shane Black did more movies, and that they did better at the box office. I think I liked this one even more than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and that's one of my favourites. Highly recommended.

Brooklyn Nine Nine and Star Vs The Forces Of Evil are back, and they're both still amazing. I know I'm overdoing it with that adjective, but it's true, they're both objectively amazing shows. I still have to watch that new Once Upon A Time episode, mostly because I got derailed by Final Fantasy Type 0: I played it for a month more than a year ago, then stopped just before leaving for the final dungeon. I can't remember why. Then last weekend I finally finished it, witnessed the incredibly depressing ending (even sadder than Crisis Core's, come on!), and now I'm replaying it from start because I'm not ready to let go of these characters. And I love the gameplay. ^^ Also I hurt my shoulder playing drums. Probably the most metal thing I did all year.

So that's it for me today, but I promise to be back tomorrow.
nausicaa83: (<calvin & hobbes> 78 rpm)
Well guess what, I did it. Today I turn 33, I made it! The other day I met with my oncologist, and I thanked her for getting me to my birthday, and she was so moved and hugged me and wished me happy birthday. By the way, the exams show the new medicine is working, so next tuesday I'm leaving for two weeks back home. \o/

Yesterday I recieved my first birthday gift, a wonderful care package from [ profile] space_oddity_75, with biscuits and tea and jelly beans and toblerones (even the white one!), so today I had breakfast with proper British tea, I was so happy! I'm saving the jammie dodgers for when I come back though. *_____* And my aunt baked me a cake, with pineapple and kiwis and peaches!

It's been one of the hardest years of my life, but I survived it, and I'm here. I'm really proud of myself. ^^
nausicaa83: (<cardcaptor sakura> wind on the roof)
First things first, I want to thank you all for always leaving me comments on my entries. It's sometimes really hard to answer because I get all wrapped up in my own head, but I cherish them all so very very much. It's hard to explain how important it is to know you're still in your friends' thoughts. So, thank you. ♥

Brief medical update: this new medicine seems to be working. It's only been two weeks and not full dosage yet, but it looks like it's doing his job. I'm being cautiously optimistic. Yesterday I was supposed to have the usual pet scan to check things out, but the super expensive machine broke, and they called me to say they had to postpone my appointment. So there's that. Either way next tuesday I'll do the first full dose of this new awesome medicine, so I'm very excited. Then it's my birthday, and after that I wanted to go back home for a couple of weeks, but now with having to wait for them to fix that machine all my plans have been derailed. We'll see.

And now fandom update because I do tend to only talk about my illness and meds and I need to work on that. So, let's see. I read Gone Girl, got traumatized. It is a great novel, although I'm not sure if it's really misogynistic or not. Some parts definitely are. But it's true that we never get true sociopathic female villains either. I don't know, it is confusing. I think... it is feminist to want female villains instead of always good, always kind, always nurturing women, but the way this particular character is evil is deeply feminine, in a way that's very misogynistic. At least that's what I got from it.

Last weekend we took a trip to the Alps! It was so foggy it looked like Silent Hill, but I was super excited because I hadn't been so high up (1880m!) since I was a kid, and I took lots of pictures with my phone that ended up looking like location scouting for a Wuthering Heights movie. It was fun though. :D

And I had a haircut! My hair has been growing like a pumpkin patch, so it was time to give it a proper shape. I really love how it looks, it's short and spunky. And even a bit curly in the back, which is completely new. ^^

I've been watching a few movies off my To-See folder (Argo, Spotlight, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisshou, Lars and The Real Girl), but they were all sort of really depressing. I need to scout Netflix for something lighter and funnier! Suggestions are always welcome. ;)

I promise I'll try to update more often, and keep my life front and center, and not let the illness always take the spotlight. Love you all!


Aug. 26th, 2016 07:37 pm
nausicaa83: (<berserk> griffith)
Here's an update: I have two medical exams in September, but today my oncologist checked my breast, said the illness is indeed progressing as we feared, and she changed my meds on the spot. I had to wait a couple of hours but they sent the new medicine up, and luckly I'm not allergic to it (remember the first chemo? good times), so today we officially started this new phase.

Technically it's not chemo, as it's still immunotherapy and has no side effects, but it's halfway there so I'm going to call it chemo to save time. I'm feeling fine, no stomachache, no aching joints, nothing. I feel a bit down, but the oncologist was very optimistic. She said it's a very new, very effective and very expensive medicine. It's only me and three other women, so I'll join them on the same day every three weeks, so that the hospital can order just one batch. Next one is on 13 September, then I have three free weeks with no side effects. I'll celebrate my birthday here with my family and then go back to Venice to celebrate it with Tati.

So this is what happened. New meds, new phase, same old fighting attitude. ^^
nausicaa83: (<ashes to ashes> real love)
I'm back! It's been some month. The shady thing was indeed shady, and I was supposed to start that new cycle of chemo a couple of weeks ago, but then I told my oncologist I've been feeling a lot better lately, and stronger, and she decided to wait another month, do more tests, and then see. Me, I've accepted the idea I need to do that new chemo and I've stopped worrying about it. I jumped back on a train and came back home in Venice to enjoy a couple of weeks of holiday before I have to go back, and start the whole process of being poked and prodded and turned inside out like a sock all over again.

I spent the first week alone at home, for the first time since this whole thing started a year ago. It was amazing and surreal, to feel strong and healthy enough not to need someone taking care of me, being able to do things like grocery shopping and cleaning the floors and so on without breaking a sweat. Last friday I had the first therapy session since last September; I've been keeping in touch with my therapist daily ever since, obviously, but this was the first actual session. I needed it so much. On monday I went to the beach with Tati and her mom and we spent the most lovely day together. Yesterday Tati and I went to the cinema to watch Star Trek Beyond, which we both loved a lot, and we've been playing Life Is Strange together. What a beautiful game! Very heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, but amazingly written and acted, wow.

And all the while I've been trying to catch Pokemon everywhere I go. Turns out downtown Venice has a lot of pokestops but almost no actual pokemons. Weird.

So this has been July for me.
nausicaa83: (<rvb> texas)
Sorry for disappearing on you, but it's been a crazy month. I had the usual pet scan, and most things look great and one thing looks, in their words, 'shady'. So I got another big scare, and had to do a lot of additional exams, including a very, very painful one that got me stuck in bed for two days straight afterwards. It was awful. Now we're waiting for the results next week, then I'll either keep going on with the meds I'm already doing, or start a new chemo cycle. Which sucks. But they told me that even if we have to do option B it'll be a very mild chemo, with basically no side effects and great results. Which sucks a lot less.

As soon as I felt better I hopped on a train back home: I had to take my mind off it, and see Tati and hug my cat. I've been here since saturday and I feel a lot better. Today I woke up with a mild cold, because that always happens to me with air conditioning (back at my aunt's place we're on the mountains, so there's no need for it, but here in Venice it's obligatory).

To take my mind off everything that's happened I decided to do something I should have done years ago and bought a Rooster Teeth membership, so that I can watch new Red vs Blue episodes the day they're released. And pay the creators back too. The new episode was mindblowingly amazing and so worth it!

So this has been my month so far. The doctors say it's perfectly normal, having to adjust the therapy constantly, but to me it's still been kind of a shock. I like routine, thank you very much. Next week we'll see if we actually have to do that or not, and then I'll probably come back here after the 20th. My aunt is spending a whole month with her mom, my cousin is staying in Ireland with her boyfriend until well into September, and both my uncle and other cousin work all day. I don't mind spending time alone, but that would be a bit too much.

Updates will follow when they finally tell me something. Until then I'll be on the couch hugging my cat.
nausicaa83: (<kingdom hearts> start a new journey)
Health update, I'm feeling a lot better! First of all, thanks for all the lovely messages on my last post, you made my day and week, I wish I could hug you all! The good news is, I'm back home until tuesday. I was feeling better, and I had lots of stuff to do (mainly taxes). Plus I really missed my best friend. And my cat. Yesterday I woke up with a cold, because the weather is crazy and my immune system isn't up to par yet, but other than that I'm really enjoying not having to worry about that stupid cvc ever again. And my nails have started to grow again, although very slowly. I'm finally getting the chemo out of my system!

From a mental point of view, things are a little murkier. It's great to be back home, but it also feels very weird. Everything is exactly the same as I left it, but I feel like a completely different person. It's jarring. It'll take me some time to get used to it again. Next wednesday I have another PET, to check if the cure is still working. I do feel fine, but I'm still really scared. It can't be helped, I guess. On the 17th it's immunotherapy time again, then I'm free for three weeks. So unless they schedule another visit/exam for the end of the month, I'll probably come back here for another couple of weeks. This is going to be my life for a while.

Not everything feels weird though. Sakura cuddles me constantly, and on my second day here I made sea salt ice cream and it came out perfect. I'm very proud of myself! And Tati came to stay here with me, which always makes me incredibly happy. I've been watching cartoons, playing videogames, and eating ice cream. It's been a great holiday. ^^
nausicaa83: (<007> death)
So you've probably wondered where I disappeared to. I was in the hospital for the last ten days. Three days after the latest trip to the hospital I developed a crazy fever, vomit, shaking, the works, and had to be rushed to the first aid. I spent a few hours there hooked to liquids, and just when it looked like I was getting better, I had a sort of seizure and stopped breathing for a few minutes. Which, by the way, was so terrifying it has now exacerbated my claustrophobia. Hurrah. So they did all their tests and it turned out I had one of those nasty infections people get in hospitals, super bacteria, because of course I did. I spent a whole week with a high fever, in horrible pain, and getting food and drink from drips because I couldn't eat anything without throwing up. I started feeling better last sunday, and today they let me go home so I can go do the usual immunotherapy tomorrow, since I skipped one with the fever and all.

I'm still feeling weak, but a lot better. At least the appetite is back. I had planned to go back home last week, I already had the train tickets and all, but that had to be postponed. The good news is, on monday I got surgery and they removed the cvc, which was the cause of the infection. So at least I don't have that anymore. I was so scared of the possibility of an infection because of that stupid thing, and all the doctors said it was so rare I shouldn't have worried, and then it happened.

So now the plan is, eat a lot of good food, avoid closed spaces, and maybe I can go back home for a week in June. I miss my cat.
nausicaa83: (<gravity falls> fangirling)
Guess what I just did!!! I just bought tickets to the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra World Tour concert in London, on 24th March 2017!!!

That's huge for a number of reasons, mostly because I'm making plans a year from now, because my health has improved so much I actually can. My therapist is going to be so proud. It's going to be Tati, my cousin Francesca, and me in London, in the same hall as Yoko Shimomura. I'm freaking out! That's one of my favourite composers ever, in one of my favourite cities ever, with Tati and Francesca, it's a dream come true!

Seriously, somebody pinch me right now. *____*

May 2017

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